I’m  mum of 2 beautiful kids, i love them dearly as whole equal people in this world. Their faces make me smile, it is so true that there is nothing stronger than a mother’s love. However due to no fault of my children and only my own, I’ve lost many parts of me. During the day I put all of my energy in to them, they are both special needs children so they require a lot of support in their individual needs.

In my day the only “me time” I get is walking the dogs in the dead of the night once the kids are in bed. So, what to do?

I have decided I want to get a casual job which I can do out of normal hours and on a weekend day. This would suit us perfectly as my partner can look after the kids while I’m working on the weekends and they won’t know I’m gone in the evenings.

Holding qualifications in drug and alcohol counselling, children’s services and social work should help me find loads of jobs matching my hours right? Yes, yes it does. However because I have been out of the workforce for a long time I have ended up with about 4o trees worth of rejection letters. I apply for jobs I am over qualified for, under qualified for, and the right amount. Nothing seems to matter, I’ve been a stay at home mum for 4 years, studying and volunteering for most of that time too but it doesn’t matter. None of that matters- I’m simply not good enough.

I haven’t even made it to interviews for any of the positions I’ve applied for. I’d go back to volunteering but we simply can’t afford it in our family budget. I’m just frustrated and my self worth has plummeted along with each rejection letter. I feel I’m just applying for jobs for a guiness world record of most job applications in 6 months. I’m even applying for jobs I have no interest in doing like jobs that are hours away from me… I’m seeing how far I can get my useless rejected name out there.