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Judgement when training your dog

As u most of you know i have a very well behaved siberian husky and a not so well behaved whippet. My whippet has fantastic recall, isn’t agressive towards people and most dogs and will drop things when i tell her to but thats about the extent of it.

When we go to the off leash dog park she starts howling and crying when we are still in the car around the corner! By the time we park the car she is going ballistic. Most say to me that this js normal excitement and how cute it is. Well no, no it isn’t cute because it could end tragically. Her brain is faster than her legs and boy are those legs fast! If I let her off leash as soon as we get to the gate then she will fly off but being a sight hound she will see things and focus on only that target, but when her brain is so amped up like when we open those gates she is so overly excited that she can see two things she wants, run so quickly, get confused and trip  on her own feet. Whippets get up to 60km per hour so tripping at this speed can break legs as we often see in greyhound racing. She also can get so excited that instead of a playful nip she will do a bite.

Ok, so now you know the background  here i go! I have been ridiculed, lectured and yelled at by STRANGERS telling me I am cruel to leash her until she calms down. I’ve  had the same shit said to me like “leash your husky, he’s more agressive than her!” And “whippets are made to run, let her run for gods sake” and so it goes on and on. I originally thought people understand when you explain the dog is being trained, i also thought people would understand when you tell them your dog isn’t agressive. No, no they do not understand.. infact they use this as a way to argue with you. I’ve explained countless times how and why I  training my whippet, for her safety and the safety of other dogs. I have explained my husky has never displayed and aggressive behaviour even when provoked. No one cares nor do they listen.

I’ve been raising whippets for 20 years, chances are I know a lot more than the idiots at the park that just want to see her run while amped up because it makes for a good show. Good show it does make, its like greyhound racing how they amp them up beforehand so their run is full of grunt and speed.. But it isn’t safe and I won’t risk my dogs health or your dogs health for your own pleasure. I hate greyhound racing and I hate how uneducated people can be.

When I say “I’m training my dog” then back off and give me some credit that I know what I’m doing. Also don’t bring my well mannered husky in to it with stupid comments like “you’ve leashed the wrong one”. No I haven’t leashed the wrong one, I’ve leashed the one that will bite your dog if she gets too excited.

To everyine that cops insults wheb they are training their animals, I salute you! Keep doing what you’re doing and keep rolling those eyes at the ignoramuses that won’t understand.

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Trust is a fickle thing

I’m going to try talk about trust. It’s a beast of a topic.

I don’t trust people very easily so those whom I do talk about more private things to, i generally trust. I can over share and be prone to giving away too much about myself too quickly. In these instances i usually pull right back as soon as i sense the slightest sign of mistrust whether it is really there in the magnitude interpret it or not.

Growing up with abuse and constantly battling for my own safety i was on high alert all the time, constantly reading people. Reading their tone, stance, body language, eye contact, hand gestures, eyebrowntwings and walk. Words barely came in to it, they were well and truly down on the long list of things that must be registered before understanding the words. So, it is safe to say I am a very good people reader. I am so sensitive to the aforementioned details that it took me 6 yeard of therapy before I began making eye contact and had the ability to look at people when talking. I still can’t look at people much at all, I avoid looking at people at all costs but if I have to I have the ability to now but only for breif periods and also when I am angry.

These “skills” are not useful, not when you are trying to have friendships. I am like a yoyo, trusting then pull right back and it takes a very long time to re-establish it if trust is hindered in the slightest. This isn’t much of a way to live- always on edge.

Anyway, my phone battery is nearly dead so I’ll leave it there. Not sure what this blog entry achieved..

Thinking of getting a puppy?

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I am getting sick and tired of people buying animals and then getting rid of them like they aren’t living beings. This rant springs from a facebook page i joined that i thought sold 2nd hand pet stuff like crates/kennels etc but it also sells puppies and older dogs for when their owners get sick of them.

Sure, puppies are cute- that’s one of the main reasons people want a puppy. However this is a great pitfall, I have seen it first hand people ditching their puppies because they demand more attention than the owner can give them. Afterall, that is how my whippet came in to life at the young age of 4 months. Puppy was “too playful” for their cat so they locked my pup outside until they found a new home for her.

The puppy pitfall would save so many animal lives if the people seeking a dog adopted an older dog, I’m not saying everyone needs to get an 8yo shelter dog but even a 1yo would be less intense than a baby puppy. This would also stop the excuse “the dog grew bigger than we wanted”. Now, this excuses pisses me off to no end. My large dog is loads more placid than my medium/small dog. A big dog doesn’t equate to more responsibility always.

People also are not researching the breed they choose, i see so many people buying toy sized dogs thinking that because of their size that they don’t need training. They can be picked up if they are getting in to mischief, their mouths are smaller therefore less destructive- yet another common myth.

Many larger breeds would be more suitable to families than these toy breeds that are being on sold all the fucking time. This same rule goes for larger breed dogs that have physical appeal to many but they aren’t prepared for the work. Huskys, malamutes, german short haired pointers, bull mastiffs, staffies (even though they are small). I see these dogs always popping up in my shelter searches and these dogs (mainly bull mastiffs and staffies) are the most common ones to be surrendered to shelters because surprise surprise, they need exercise! Yet these people wanting larger breeds constantly overlook greyhounds because they are worried about the amount of exercise they need and they might be aggressive. Couldn’t be more of a myth! Ex race greyhounds are usually young to adopt (1-3years usually), they require 20-30 mins on leash walk per day, don’t eat you out of house and home and they are great around children, heck most are even great with cats!

I wish i could do something to stop people buying and selling pets like a change of clothing or an old piece or furniture. It comes down to education and some dodgy breeders selling dogs to make money without vetting the potential owners of the animals.

Go to a shelter, find a rescue group, do your research and you won’t find yourself to be one of the dumbasses that rehomes their next pet.

I don’t know

As usual, everything is a mess.

One of my dogs escaped a teeny tiny gap in a fence at the fenced dog park… i found him an hour or so later after running running running the streets playing hide and seek. Feeling like a failure there.

Also I separated from my partner last night. I’m sick of being let down by him time and time again. It’s a temporary separation sure but it still sucks.  Failure number 2.

People keep going on about how awesome their parents are to their children, my parents are shit. My dad used to shoot me with a high powered bb gun, my sister and I hid under a shelter we made from chairs and sheets to get away from him shooting the real guns in the house while drunk. Mum isn’t much better… my partners parents are totally stuffed too. One is dead the other lives 4 states away. I can’t provide grandparents for my kids. Failure there too.

 

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Quilting my way back to sanity

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If you were to read my last post you would know i am in a dark place. My mental health isn’t right and I’m battling against a huge wave of depression and irritability.

So i am quilting my way back to sanity. Above is one of my latest rag quilts. I have made 4 big quilts since i posted last.. 3 days ago. I have 2 children, 2 rabbits, a fish, a cat and 2 dogs to tend to in that time so believe me when I say I am quilting interrupted millions of times but every day.

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Here is another one I made, terrible light but hey.. it’s making me feel something other than the overwhelming dark cloud suffocating my every breath.

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The opposite side

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Another obsessive quilt

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And a quilt for my dog too, you can barely see it.. or my dog for that matter but how cute do they look snuggled up together!

So there you go, somehow I am still alive. It probably is quilting that is giving me purpose and keeping me here right now. I still feel the same as i did 3 days ago but I’m still here.

Spent, the battle has won

I’m laying here crying on the inside but too numb and out of control to cry on the outside.

I think I’m done, I’ve spent all my energy, I’ve spent all my hope, I’ve spent all my faith. I’ve reached the end.

I know in my heart everyone is best with me gone, for my kids it will hurt for a while but no where near the amount of hurt I will cause if i stay on the earth. I love them too much to make them have to stay around me. It breaks my heart but sometimes you need to be honest with yourself to make the best decisions for your family.

My pets will be in good hands. My partner is wonderful with them and the kids.

I feel done. I can’t fight any longer.l can’t fight because I don’t deserve the things worth fighting for. I have lost the battle, it has won. It was always going to win. It was just when will it. And it’s come and I feel its won.

They don’t call it job “hunting” for no reason

I’m  mum of 2 beautiful kids, i love them dearly as whole equal people in this world. Their faces make me smile, it is so true that there is nothing stronger than a mother’s love. However due to no fault of my children and only my own, I’ve lost many parts of me. During the day I put all of my energy in to them, they are both special needs children so they require a lot of support in their individual needs.

In my day the only “me time” I get is walking the dogs in the dead of the night once the kids are in bed. So, what to do?

I have decided I want to get a casual job which I can do out of normal hours and on a weekend day. This would suit us perfectly as my partner can look after the kids while I’m working on the weekends and they won’t know I’m gone in the evenings.

Holding qualifications in drug and alcohol counselling, children’s services and social work should help me find loads of jobs matching my hours right? Yes, yes it does. However because I have been out of the workforce for a long time I have ended up with about 4o trees worth of rejection letters. I apply for jobs I am over qualified for, under qualified for, and the right amount. Nothing seems to matter, I’ve been a stay at home mum for 4 years, studying and volunteering for most of that time too but it doesn’t matter. None of that matters- I’m simply not good enough.

I haven’t even made it to interviews for any of the positions I’ve applied for. I’d go back to volunteering but we simply can’t afford it in our family budget. I’m just frustrated and my self worth has plummeted along with each rejection letter. I feel I’m just applying for jobs for a guiness world record of most job applications in 6 months. I’m even applying for jobs I have no interest in doing like jobs that are hours away from me… I’m seeing how far I can get my useless rejected name out there.

 

Whippet love

My whippet sleeps under my daughters doona in her bed.

When my daughter wakes over night which is a lot, she takes so much comfort knowing that the dog is next to her keeping her warm and safe. If she can’t feel her on her feet she worries, she frets and can’t calm down until she finds her beloved doggie.

I think it’s sweet. My whippet used to sleep in my bed under my doona the same way when i was growing up. When i got a boyfriend he would sleep on the floor next to me and my dog! He was a keeper, 9 years later we are still together even though the dog always came first 🙂

I was raised in a volatile household, the only thing that kept me from suiciding was my dogs and the strong bond we had, i  can’t describe the closeness I had with her. It’s like trying to get someone to explain love, you just can’t put words to it as words don’t do love justice.

I love seeing the bond my dogs have with my kids, it is nothing short of beautiful.

Australian election result

I used my right to vote yesterday, I dragged my kids to an ever boring activity for them and put in my 2c about who I want to govern my country. My daughter who has SPD and APD was very confused and got upset about being at the polling booths because it was busy and held at the school she isn’t going to be at next year- that upset her greatly; but I still voted for my voice however small, to be heard.

The problem is as I was going through the election papers I just could not fathom how the top 2 could improve my country. Liberal and Labor have done nothing else but ridicule one another this whole time thus neglecting to put out their policies to Australia to vote on.

I wake this morning to see the result; nothing. We don’t have a PM yet because NO ONE WAS WORTH VOTING FOR! The result is on “a knifes edge”. This is not because the top 2 are battling it out with huge support conflicting the result. It is because they both are liars and are driving our country in to the ground. Neither have a compassionate bone in their body to connect with the public, both are driven by the Catholic church and money, money and more money. They are both equally as greedy so it is little wonder why Australia couldn’t throw their support to one party preferred.

I think we should take the big 2 out of it and tally up the results, see where the results are, then add the big 2 back in as senate seats as an after thought. Come on Australia, step outside Libs/Labor and vote for someone else because all those two have done the past 10 years is swing back and forth, knifing their own parties and PMs in the back and sending chaos to Australia. I’m sick of it. Aren’t you?

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